he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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