some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
