christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think people are normalizing furries
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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