just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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