i don't plan on having that self control this summer
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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