i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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