I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
