You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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