just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
