hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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