so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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