I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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