Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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