Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
