No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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