Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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