He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
