these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
