We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
PANTIES FOUND
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