You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
