ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
