dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
