Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just invented taco cereal.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
