Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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