He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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