i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Be still, my beating vagina.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
