false alarm. still invincible.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
