i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
