you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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