i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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