Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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