grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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