My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
