i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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