He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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