Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
