It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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