the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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