youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize