yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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