Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize