it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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