You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
