If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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