If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
