Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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