Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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