where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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