Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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