porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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