I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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