Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
