i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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