On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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