my mouth tastes like poor choices
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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