How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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